Author Diane Delaney

Celebrating Parents / Carers

Parenting Week (October) and World Children’s Day (November)

I wonder how many parents were aware that it was parenting week last month? For those who were aware, did this mean anything for them individually, or collectively for the population of parents? There was minimal attention given to any celebrations of this week in Scotland. For me as a parent, there was no direct impact. No one in particular was celebrating me that week! However, for those working in sectors involving children and families, it was an opportunity to celebrate parents, advocate, and perhaps raise awareness of the critical role and value of parents as they raise their children. World Children’s Day has generated growing attention and focus in recent years globally, and especially in Scotland now that we have children’s rights embedded into our laws.

I have spent some time reflecting on the lack of occasion surrounding parenting week in Scotland when there are other ‘weeks’ that are celebrated far more enthusiastically.  My PhD project has explored parent and professional perceptions of the role and value of parents.  My study focused on parents and carers living in Scotland with children aged 3-5yrs.  I interviewed parents and professionals working in sectors supporting children and families.  My research has found that quite often there’s not a lot of sympathy for parents on their parenting journey, particularly if they are not conforming to social constructions of ‘good parenting’.

We have a lot of law and policy in Scotland about the important role of parents and families in the lives of their children, so why aren’t the celebrations in Scotland for parents louder and more notable?  Is this a reflection of the value we place on parents?  Scottish law and policy frameworks are designed to support and protect parents’ rights and responsibilities, especially through legislation such as the Children (Scotland) Act 1995, the Children and Young People (Scotland) Act 2014, and the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC)(Incorporation) Act 2024.  In Scotland, we also have our very own National Parenting Strategy (Scottish Government 2012) which sets out the national goals to support parents in their role.  This strategy recognises parent’s expertise as primary carers and educators of their children.  At the core of these laws is a recognition of the importance of family life in the healthy development of children, and the principle that children’s welfare is paramount.  However, those policy and legislative frameworks also acknowledge that parenting is not straightforward and that parenting should not be a solitary journey. Rather, that parents and their children require a network of supports as they navigate through the child’s lifecourse. 

My research found that there are tensions between the aspirations of law and policy, and the lived realities of families across Scotland, and indeed that of professionals working in sectors supporting families. On the one hand, parents are encouraged to take full responsibility for their children’s upbringing, ensuring that they provide critical support for their child’s health development, including emotional, social support and stability. On the other hand, there is a well-known proverb that “it takes a village to raise a child”. My research identified a unanimous understanding of this proverb that the wider community; family, friends, and society at large should play a key role in supporting parents. However, my study found that for some parents/ carers living in Scotland they feel the “village” is not there for them. Professionals observe this too.

Parental Rights and the Legal Framework

Scotland has made significant strides in recognising and promoting children’s rights, as seen in the incorporation of the UNCRC into Scots law. Under the UNCRC, parents are viewed as rights-holders, with the state expected to support them in their role. Legislation such as the Parental Involvement Act (2006) strengthens the partnership between parents, schools and local authorities, ensuring that parents have a say in their children’s education and wellbeing. The Children and Young People Act (2014) further emphasises early intervention and the provision of services to support families. Many of my participants both parents and professionals also referred to ‘Getting it Right For Every Child’ (GIRFEC) (Scottish Government, 2022), a national policy framework centred around the rights and wellbeing of children in Scotland, and the role families play within this. In theory, these laws create a framework where parents can confidently raise their children with support when needed. However, in practice, the system is often strained. Despite policies meant to empower parents, my research found significant gaps between policy ideals and the day-to-day experiences of families. Often these policies assume that parents know how, when and where to access support, and even recognise that they do need support. My research has found that this is not the case.

For parents who do understand how to access support, a key finding from my study is a parent’s inability to elicit responses from professionals that they believe would support themselves, or their children. Examples of this include accessing referrals to other organisations, and the creation of child support plans in schools. Not all parents believe they are valued, and some parents were clear that they were actively disregarded in their role as parents by professionals about their child’s health, wellbeing and development. However, my study also identified examples where parents were empowered by professionals to adopt leadership roles in the discussions around their children, highlighting that it is possible to genuinely work in partnership as parents and professionals. However, my study did not have the scope to investigate why some parents are empowered to be leaders, whereas others felt disregarded and discriminated against.

The Complexities of Asking for Help

Asking for help is in itself, a difficult and complex task for many parents. There is a lack of clarity around when and how parents should seek support. Should they wait until they are in crisis? Or is it acceptable to ask for help in more minor situations? This uncertainty often causes hesitation. The parent participant group in my study were self-assessing their eligibility status and perceived level of priority, and this often determined, if or who they would contact for advice or support. These parents, mainly from educated and high household income backgrounds were able to engage in that process of self-assessment. However, professional participants working in deprived areas observe that many other parents and families cannot navigate the process of asking for help. There are a variety of complex reasons for this including their own health and wellbeing needs, poverty, and illiteracy. Parents may feel shame or fear of judgment when seeking help too. The spectre of social work involvement looms large for many families. Those with concerns about their children's wellbeing can fear that asking for help might result in unwanted intervention from authorities, making them more reluctant to only reach out when problems have escalated beyond their control.

For many parents, even once they overcome the hesitation to ask for help, they face another barrier of long delays in accessing support. Waiting lists for mental health services, specialist assessments, and other family support services can stretch for years, during which time parents and children are left without adequate support.  Some parents are asked to ‘wait and see’ what happens with their child before any intervention, and others are required to attend mandatory parenting classes before they are granted access to resources like children’s mental health services.  They must attend these classes regardless of their knowledge, experience or their socio-economic, environmental circumstances at home.  Although many professionals work hard to bridge the gap while families wait for services, it is rarely enough to meet the growing needs of families.  The impacts of waiting for assessment and support has a snowball effect, with more people surrounding the child and family being impacted.

Mental Health: A Crisis for Both Parents and Children

The mental health crisis affecting both children and their parents was a significant concern raised by all professionals. They unanimously agreed that there is a serious lack of timely and appropriate interventions for families. The multidisciplinary approach that many parents and children require is often unavailable due to inconsistent resource allocation across different services, eligibility criteria and waiting lists. Families presenting with complex needs often experience a fractured system, where the involvement of various professionals doesn’t always translate into coordinated care. Furthermore, some parents conveyed that the support offered by professionals and services is not the support that they need. Thus, leaving parents frustrated at their inability to persuade professionals to offer the support required for their child.

As unmet needs escalate, the impact on parents' mental health grows more profound, which in turn affects their ability to provide the emotional and general care their children require.  The consequences of this are parents on sick leave from their jobs, or unable to maintain their paid employment.  This in turn leads to more financial instability and subsequent impacts.  This cycle of unmet needs and rising stress levels is one that requires urgent attention.

My research highlights a disconnect between policy and practice, and participants believe this has worsened in this post-Covid-19 lockdown era.  The implications are far-reaching in terms of child and parent general and mental health.  Furthermore, there is collective concern about the impacts of these unmet needs at this 3-5yr age group particularly as children transition into primary school. Addressing these challenges is not only essential for the wellbeing of individual families but for creating a more supportive and cohesive society that results in positive health, wellbeing, learning and developmental outcomes for children.

Children are more likely to thrive when their parents and families are supported.  Following on from Parenting Week, I would like to pay tribute, to all the parents and carers in Scotland, and especially those participating in my study.  On World Children’s Day, reflecting on my own research, it is evident that addressing the (complex) challenges faced by children and families requires a systemic move away from siloed interventions towards integrated, collaborative approaches that prioritise long-term solutions for the wellbeing of all children. 

Diane Delaney
PhD Student Public Health and Policy
Humanities and Social Sciences
School of Social Work and Social Policy
University of Strathclyde